Joel M. Hoffman, PhD

There are strange things done in Washington
    By the folks who forge our laws.
The Senate halls and quorum calls
    Have always had their flaws.
So now and again our leadership train
    Has followed a curious trail.
But today’s the day you’d be tempted to say
    That the train has jumped the rail.

Now on normal days the political frays of our leaders make the news
‘Cause they can’t agree down there in D.C. on which of the points of views
That get expressed will help us best restore our fortune. And
Help us regain our world-wide fame as a free and prosperous land.

On one side they say that the only way to bring us out of our slump
Is to spend much more than we have before, to find new ways to pump
Vast new sums of government funds into every corner and niche
Of our fiscal machine — you know what I mean — that’s the way to unleash

The economic might that’s been hidden from sight since four or five years ago
When the banks were dethroned for offering loans to every Tom, Harry, and Joe.
In retrospect they perhaps should have checked, before they dolled out these funds,
If there was a way for debtors to pay the interest and principal sums

Back to the banks who have since joined the ranks of the utterly stupefied.
“We couldn’t have known when we made that loan,” is what they all have cried.
“Just relax. Get off our backs,” they say. “And we’re still annoyed
“That you bitch and moan about those loans that we made to the unemployed.”

But though it’s bizarre we are where we are and that’s the reason for
The folks in D.C. to search for a key to unlock our riches of yore.
And as I have said there’s a mainstream thread in the magical beltway cult
That thinks that more debt is our best bet for a prosperous fiscal result.

But opposing them are a group of men who mightily disagree
Their position is that we’ve had our at-bat and swung and missed for strike three.
The government can’t be the power plant that supplies the fiscal fuel
To help us reclaim our former fame as an economic Jewel.

No, they say. The only way to restore our former wealth
Is to ease the restraints on the patron saints of global fiscal health.
By that they mean the mighty machine of businesses large and small
Whose inherent greed is just what we need to bring prosperity back to all

The American folks who may have lost hope as they saw their fortunes shrink.
Though it might be true that business is who brought us to the very brink
Of financial wreck — Sure! What the heck! — Let’s give them another shot
At creating a tide upon which we all rise. That’s the other school of thought.

Now it seems to me that these folks in D.C. have spent too long at the farm.
Both theories are flawed, and that’s not all, they’re both more likely to harm
This great U.S., whose very success has always depended upon
A collective desire to climb ever higher, to forge new paths, to lead on.

But now I digress, so let me just stress that surely there’s truth on both sides
Of this mighty debate about our fate. There’s more that unites than divides.
We can all admire the way we aspire to freedom that’s guaranteed
By the very core of our national lore, by the leaders ensconced in D.C.

This explains our awe for order and law, for the forces that keep us free
To visit great parks, to enjoy the arts, to relax over afternoon tea.
‘Tis been said before, but I’ll say it once more: Anarchy precedes every fall.
But nonetheless, it’s true, I guess, that it beats no government at all.

There are strange things done in Washington
    By the folks who forge our laws.
The Senate halls and quorum calls
    Have always had their flaws.
So now and again our leadership train
    Has followed a curious trail.
But today’s the day you’d be tempted to say
    That the train has jumped the rail.